


Snow in Christmas

by kangsen07



Category: ONF (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, a bit angst, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:34:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23113282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kangsen07/pseuds/kangsen07
Summary: Seungjoon again give a promise he couldn't keep.
Relationships: Kim Hyojin/Lee Seungjoon | J-Us
Kudos: 16





	Snow in Christmas

Hyojin can't deny it. He could not do anything. All he can do is accept and just pray. He could not do anything to change destiny, nor repeat the destiny that God gave him, also especially to his lover.

Seungjoon, the doctor had estimated the time of his life, but he was either reckless or just wanted to grant his own last wish, daring to walk in his weak state while carrying a pole hanging infusion bottles connected to his left arm.

However, he is not alone. Hyojin there, accompany him. Like he was giving up for his boyfriend. Or, he is the same as Seungjoon. Just want to grant the wish that... maybe the last.

"I want to touch the snow," begged Seungjoon earlier. When he was lying very weak, helpless, and can only pay attention to the ceiling also pray.

Now here he was, on the rooftop where he had been treated for many years, wasting his college time, which he had half-deadly reached when he was in high school.

The wind is blowing very hard, very cold. The wind can even blow on the white clothes that are not his style. The wind is also very winter. Even so, snow is still not coming to rain on the earth.

"See? The snow hasn't come down yet, Seungjoon." Hyojin, behind him, with his rare sad face, advised him.

Seungjoon just smiled. He shouldn't denied Hyojin's speech a few minutes ago. Denies it with a crybaby cry that is also not his style. The reason is, the concern that been worried is about happen now. At Seungjoon, he felt a sudden pain in his now bloated stomach. It feels like it will explode.

_Ah, is the baby raging? _he thought.__

__

__"Then, I just want to feel the winter breeze, hyung." Seungjoon said, with a view that could not be separated from the beautiful afternoon sky even though it was not as beautiful as the summer sky with bright sunny days._ _

__

__"Seungjoon, I just don't want us to lose Yuto. We have already lost Minseok. Do you want your struggle to be in vain again, Seungjoon?" Haa, the Hyojin is back with his annoying advise._ _

__

__"I can do it, hyung. Remember that I just pass the doctor's verdict for two days? I will definitely be able to last about three more months, hyung."_ _

__

__"Seungjoon, please," dizzy Hyojin._ _

__

__"Then, you want to survive? You better go back inside!" And, Seungjoon finally agreed with Hyojin's decision. With a sake, of course._ _

__

__"Then, will you wait for me?"_ _

__

__"It might take a very long time. But, hyung will definitely be patient right? Hyung will definitely be waiting for me, right?" Seungjoon, with joy returning from the hiatus, he said with certainty as day and night, as bright as the moon in the sky._ _

__

__"Of course," Hyojin said sincerely._ _

__

__Now, he can no longer weir the happiness. As his legs had gone limp, running nimbly towards Hyojin and holding the idol's hand tightly._ _

__

__It's time to say the real promise._ _

__

__"If it snows on Christmas, I want to see it with you first."_ _

__

__Yes. With that promise, with that trust, Hyojin invited their two pinkies and immediately tightened their grasp._ _

__

__As long as the promise is still held by both of them, Hyojin will definitely believe that._ _

__

__"Promise."_ _

__

__Except, if Seungjoon again denied it._ _

__

__And, here is Hyojin now. In front of the fireplace with his only child._ _

__

__"Yuto, do you want to hear a story?" Hyojin said suddenly, to a 7-year-old child, who was actually absorbed in the Christmas present._ _

__

__"Story? What an unusual. Papa is always lazy for story-telling," replied his son, Yuto, not stiff even though his preoccupation was disturbed._ _

__

__"Hey, Yuto. It's about your mama, of course Papa has to cheer up!"_ _

__

__"Mama? Yuto has never seen Mama." And Yuto, with a spirit that somehow permeated his entire body, approached and immediately sat cross-legged before his father._ _

__

__"So, Mama once promised Papa. He said," If it snows on Christmas, he wants to see it first with Papa." And because of that promise, every snow falls on Christmas, Papa always remembers Mama," said Hyojin._ _

__

__"Papa, Papa. Did Mama keep the promise?" Yuto denounced by asking._ _

__

__"Certainly, dear. He always prayed. All day, all night. By sleeping, and consciously. He always begged not to break his promises to Papa, no longer want to disappoint Papa, and certainly, very much want to grant Papa’s wish." Hyojin's explained._ _

__

__There was a pause of a few minutes when Hyojin spread his arms and held his son tightly._ _

__

__"The doctor once said. Every time before the surgery, your mother will definitely take the time to pray. He always clenched his hands. And when the surgery went smoothly, Papa would immediately propose to him, and we got married. Mama's pain often recurred, but he still remained enthusiastic, still remains strong." Hyojin paused for a moment when his eyes began to swollen._ _

__

__"I can't even imagine the pain of the cancer, and the pain of the pregnancy phase combined for the suffer. I even heard Mama scream several times at night that scarier than the sound of the victims of torture."_ _

__

__"A few months later, you were born, Yuto." Hyojin added softly, gently stroking Yuto's hair._ _

__

__"And, right at the celebration of a month of your birth, your mother can't last anymore."_ _

__

__Instantly, Hyojin paused the story again. Because, Yuto hugged him. Tightly. Hyojin could feel the sadness in this only son._ _

__

__The man patted his son calmly._ _

__

__"I know, Yuto. I miss him too."_ _

__

__Ah. It’s make Hyojin remembering some of his sweet memories with Seungjoon._ _

_"He is not calm like water. But he is beautiful like a rainbow that appears every farewell of the rain." _That is his description of his wife, who he is always proud of to others including his parents.__

____

__

__***_ _

__

__A year ago, Seungjoon busied his vacation with Hyojin, only to look for nice clothes on his body, which had an enlarged belly and wouldn't fit into his casual clothes collection._ _

__

__"Hyung, do I have to wear just the XXL size to fit?" asked Seungjoon at that time._ _

__

__"What did I say? Negligee is better." Of course Hyojin will always establish his commitment, even to his beloved one._ _

__

__"Don't joke, hyung. How should I wear negligee?!"_ _

__

__Yeah, that's a pretty harmonious conversation actually. Even Hyojin still remembers it until now. But, it will be even more harmonious if they are not boyfriends, but a married couple._ _

__

__Okay. Whatever. Hyojin will still mark these memories as strange and beautiful memories on his list. Well, even though all the memory lists that Hyojin did with Seungjoon were many strange, there were also many beautiful of course._ _

__

For the second list, is when they suggest a name for their baby. Seungjoon suggested first, but the name he suggested was too strange. Well, even though Hyojin's suggestion was also strange, they finally agreed with one name.

"Then, what should we name it?"

__

__"How about Minseok?"_ _

__

__"Minseok? Kim Minseok? You we're really like EXO Xiumin, hyung."  
_ _

__"But that's good right?"_ _

__

__"Whatever."_ _

__

__That's how Hyojin remembered._ _

__

__Oh, my God. Hyojin could still feel clearly how the incident had been twisted in his memory. Like it was yesterday, Hyojin remembered clearly how Seungjoon's face was when he said that the name we’re resembled the name of a famous celebrity._ _

__

__Gosh. Now, Hyojin was reminded of the worst memories where the tone of Seungjoon's voice was raised like that._ _

__

__This memory is actually not liked by Hyojin. Or maybe this is among the worst._ _

__

__"Hyung, call an ambulance!" Seungjoon shouted at that time. And Hyojin certainly did the beg immediately._ _

__

__However, what did the doctor say after a long examination and surgery?_ _

__

__"Sorry, sir. We did our best, but we can only save his mother."_ _

__

__Hey, Hyojin didn't expect that._ _

__

__Come on, isn't Seungjoon's disease is heart cancer, and he just relapsed? Why can't his child be saved?_ _

__

__"Unfortunately, your child has not been given the opportunity to see the world." Ah._ _

__

Hyojin then asked for more explanation. Afterwards, he understood that the mother's body of his child was not strong enough to conceive. The doctor even suggested giving up having children before Seungjoon's condition was stable.

But, it's not Seungjoon if he doesn't be stubborn.

__

__Next—But before that, there is one important thing. That is the fact that these memories, maybe more painful than earlier memories._ _

__

__"Hyung, this time I will definitely give you happiness," Seungjoon said with the cheerfulness as usual._ _

__

__"No, Seungjoon. You're still sick. You should have waited until healed." Yes, of course Hyojin will refuse._ _

__

Even though his lover's joy that leave was back, and Seungjoon even offered an offer that Hyojin usually offers, and that sweetie never offered, Hyojin still didn't want to accept it. Because, Seungjoon is the gem. The Gems that he must protect and keep all day. The gems that do look strong, will inevitably break, even though they could self-destruct due to damage.

__

__However, Seungjoon's power continues to force._ _

__

__Ah, hope that the words in the real world is the same as conversation bubbles in the chat application. Can be withdrawn, before it been receiving, reading and replying by the reciver._ _

__

__"That's why, hyung! The doctor said I could only survive for four months. Therefore, the sooner the better, right?" Ah. Also, it's not Lee Seungjoon if it's not reckless. The doctor had sentenced him many times, but he was always determined._ _

__

__At that moment, Hyojin could only sigh. Because, the twinkle in that big eyes he could not just ignore. In that case, he just needs to be quiet, and let Seungjoon do whatever he wants. Like turning his work chair so that he can staring at him, for example._ _

__

__Hyojin still remembers how Seungjoon forced him. How his boyfriend just relaxed sitting on his lap, even though they were in his work office._ _

__

__Because of that incident, this stupid thing happened._ _

__

__"Good news, hyung. I'm positively pregnant."_ _

__

__"That's not good news, Seungjoon. Do you want to be tortured again?"_ _

__

__"No, hyung. This time it will definitely be fine. I promise!"_ _

__

__"I didn’t believe."_ _

__

__And the last memory, which Hyojin didn't want to remember, was when Seungjoon first gave him a promise he couldn't keep._ _

__

__"Hyung, I'll name it Yuto."_ _

__

__"Why Yuto?"  
_ _

__"Because of our first date is in Japan! I hope we can go there again with Yuto later."_ _

__

__"Then what? You want to make another promise?"_ _

__"Yes, promise!"_ _

__

__***_ _

__

__"I want to have children and live happily with you." That was Hyojin's biggest wish, which was even bigger than his dream of becoming a famous singer._ _

__"Hey, that's too chessy, hyung." And that was Seungjoon's joke at that time, as he hit Hyojin's arm._ _

__

__At that time, when his heart was still healthy, he had not been diagnosed with any disease. That was about 3 years ago. Oh, it's been 10 years now._ _

__

__Even though Hyojin has Yuto now, Seungjoon's promise at that time can still said as renege. Cause it's only half done! Nor even go to Japan with Yuto, he can’t even walk with his 1 year old Yuto yet._ _

__

__Yes, Hyojin has been a widower for 7 years. Hyojin is a good father. Hyojin is also a loyal husband. Imagine, it's been 7 years apart, but his heart still can not be turned away from his first love._ _

__

_Farewell is indeed very cruel. Separation can turn beautiful into sad. Like turning sugar into bitter. Memories that were once beautiful, become painful memories if with whom we are together, there is no longer beside us. Especially forever._

___ _

___Because of this, Hyojin hopes for the next life. He hopes to be reunited with Seungjoon, and they love each other as before. Hopefully it can become a happy couple, which Hyojin didn't get now. Hopefully they have the child they want. And if possible, Hyojin wants their child to also the reincarnated of his son, Yuto. Also, Hyojin wants his designate son, Minseok, to get his chance to be the son of a married couple that he didn't get._ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> helloo. i just want to say that english is not my primary language, so... i'm so sorry if there is a mistake.  
> //btw, seungjoon is so pretty with his white hair omgg


End file.
